Less Wine, More Purpose
More wine is not *more better*, especially when it comes to reaching your goals.
Have you ever had that dream where you can’t walk?
The one where you’re trying to get somewhere, but no matter what you do, how hard you try, you can’t seem to make any progress?
I have this same dream often. It feels like my legs are crumbling below me. My stress and anxiety begin to rise as I feel the pressure and stress of needing to *be* somewhere and not being able to move.
If you’ve had this dream, you know the tension in your body when you wake up. The feeling like you wanted — needed — to move and you could not.
This is what its like to be trapped under the weight of alcohol.
It happens very slowly, and then all at once.
You drink because everyone else does. Because it has been the way you’ve done it all along, maybe since you we’re quite young. Because it doesn’t seem that bad. Memes online tell you that your behavior is normal. And maybe it feels impossible to say no to imbibing with friends, on vacation, or after a long day at work.
But is it impossible?
Or, maybe you drink because its the only thing that seems to take the edge off. Because you have so much stress, so much to do, and its the only reprieve you get from your busy world. Because you deserve it. And maybe nothing else feels like it helps.
But does it really help?
Or, maybe you drink because it has become such habit that you hardly realize that you even have a choice. Because it’s your crutch through good and bad, it’s your bestie, your most loyal friend. Because it makes you feel better. And maybe you even believe it really does.
But is it actually your enemy? The one sabotaging your life?
These are the thoughts that went through my own head before finding out from working with others to quit drinking that these thoughts weren’t unique. That in fact, a lot of us feel the same way.
But to quit or cut back on alcohol? The seemingly impossible task might actually be the one that changes your whole life (for the better).
If you’re reading this, you might identify as one of the following:
You’re sober or sober-curious: You know that alcohol isn’t good for you, is sabotaging you (or has sabotaged you) in some way, and you’re already on the path to making changes. If so, congrats! You are amazing.
You’re a high frequency / binge drinker: Oh, I know this one all too well. You might be feeling hesitant about reading on, or maybe you’re somewhat excited(?) about the potential to change. If so, hell yeah, let’s change your life!
You’re a regular drinker: You might be thinking — is this for me? Is my drinking a problem? Even if you don’t drink everyday, alcohol is still affecting your life. Think about it… are there times you wish you didn’t drink so much? Or that you can’t really say no when its around? If so, wonderful! You can make a change before alcohol begins to take more control of your life and stop the train from rolling off the tracks.
Whether your pick of poison is wine, beer, cocktails, or another mind-altering beverage, they all yield much of the same — holding us back from our true potential.
To paint the picture, let’s start from the beginning.
I started drinking mostly because everyone else did. I was 13 years old when I was handed a red solo cup containing Kettle One Vodka mixed with orange juice. I remember wincing at the taste, but continuing to drink it under the guise that it was what I was supposed to do, what everyone else was doing.
There was a belief in that cup that somehow participating made me fit in with the “cool people”. The popular crowd. It provided me with a false sense of belief that somehow I mattered.
The cup symbolized acceptance, worth, and value long past my teen years and into my early 30’s. I was blinded by the belief that the alcohol was solving my problems, completely unaware that it was the one thing that was, in fact, making them worse.
I told much of my drinking story in Chapter 2 of my book, How to Eat to Change How You Drink, but there are some things that I did not realize until after it was written and published. After all, I wrote the early parts of my book within my first year of sobriety amid the pink cloud.
What I have come to realize four years into my life without alcohol is this: the self-imposed pressure of doing things right, paired with the societal pressure to fit in, is enough to make any woman go crazy. Myself included.
When I quit drinking in 2021, I had no idea that I would be able to go days without alcohol (let alone years). By the time I had hit my personal bottom, I had become a daily drinker. It was all fun and games until the hangovers, self-loathing, depression and anxiety took complete control of my life.
I didn’t get a DUI — I lived in NYC and thankfully didn’t drive a car.
I didn’t lose my job — but I did quit said job after not having things go “my way”.
I didn’t blow up my whole life — but I was living under extreme anxiety and depression that was leading down a dark path.
It wasn’t the picture that you imagine when you think of an alcoholic. But, I did feel completely out of control.
I also had a deep, extensive understanding of the body and of health as a doctor of nutrition. I knew that the alcohol was worsening how I felt, but changing my alcohol use felt impossible. Plus, so many other doctors, nutritionists, and wellness experts consumed alcohol, too.
I would drink a bottle of wine, wake up with a hangover and go to a workout, drink a green juice and eat a salad, then head to happy hour. I tried to “out-supplement” my alcohol. All of this did nothing except help me justify my behavior.
Maybe you can relate to some of my story.
When I finally gained the humility to ask for help and walk into a 12-step room, I had simply accepted the fact that my life was OVER (or so I thought).
I had never, ever gone more than a few short weeks without alcohol. I had certainly never thought the day would come where I would have to seriously consider sobriety. I truly had no idea how to actually live life without alcohol.
From other sober people, I learned things like taking it “one day at a time”, to tell myself that I won’t drink, “just for today”. Spoiler alert: They worked.
What happened after that was nothing short of a miracle.
What seemed like the end of the world, actually became the seed of a new life that was planted. One that helped me let go of all the things I thought I wanted or needed, and allowed me to figure out what I actually wanted and needed. It reminds me of this great quote about destruction and growth:
“For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction.”
―Cynthia Occelli
The idea to write my book, How to Eat to Change How You Drink, came when I was just three months sober. It hit me like a brick wall and thrust me forward into a new path that I couldn’t see because alcohol was clouding my vision.
What felt like the end, was actually only the beginning.
This is true for you, too.
In my first year of sobriety, I achieved THREE of the big goals I had been dreaming of for years:
I ran a half marathon (slowly)
I got a book deal
I started a business
I had saying for 10 years that I was going to do these things every time I wrote my New Years Resolutions, but never making actual strides toward them because I was prioritizing happy hours and hangovers over growth.
I have seen it happen with hundreds of women I’ve connected with in sobriety and my alcohol-free clients. After letting go of alcohol, they’ve experienced things like:
Getting out of an unhealthy relationship that was holding them back
Finally quitting that job and taking a chance on themselves
Improved relationships with their husband, their children, family and friends
Finally healing from an autoimmune condition, digestive issues, hormone imbalances, toxic mold exposure and other health conditions
Getting off of medications
Overcoming depression & anxiety
And so much more
I know there is amazing possibility for you, too.
There are things you want to do, goals you want to achieve, vacations you want to take, promotions you want to receive. We think that we need to work harder to get there — take on more work, make more money, try a new wellness routine.
But, in the theme of doing less…
Maybe just simply by drinking less alcohol you’ll actually realize that all of those things come to you effortlessly.
It’s possible to do less — to drink less — and become more aligned with your purpose, more aligned with who you’re meant to be, more connected to the path you’re meant to be on.
All you have to do is focus on the day.
Just don’t drink today.
Come back tomorrow and we’ll worry about it when we get there.
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I’d love to hear your comments & thoughts on this piece! What resonated most with you? What goals and dreams do you have that alcohol has been holding you back from? Share it with us here!
Sending you lots of love, and permission to drink less (or not at all).
Xo, Dr. Brooke